15 Things I Wish I Knew Before Getting Married
Marriage. It’s a word that can mean fairytale endings for some and sitcom disasters for others. No one tells you everything you’re signing up for when you say, “I do.” Trust me, I learned the hard way. If you’re about to walk down the aisle or just curious about what goes down after the big day, let me drop some truth bombs about the reality of married life.
This isn’t some Instagram-filtered love story. This is the real deal—the good, the bad, and the “Why are we arguing over Tupperware lids?” Let’s get into it.
What I Wish I Knew Before Marriage (and Why It Matters)
Before we dive into the list, let’s get one thing straight: this isn’t a list of rules or a blueprint for the “perfect” marriage (spoiler: no such thing). It’s a collection of hard-won truths from years of navigating life as part of a team.
Why does this matter? Because no one walks into marriage fully prepared. You think you know your partner inside and out—then you argue over how to load the dishwasher, and suddenly it’s a hill you’re both ready to die on. The stuff no one tells you before marriage? That’s the stuff that hits you hardest.
But it doesn’t have to. These lessons aren’t just for avoiding mistakes—they’re about building a marriage that thrives. A relationship where both partners grow, adapt, and support each other through all the messy, magical, everyday moments.
Ready to see what you really need to know before getting married? Let’s get into it.
1. Communication Isn’t Just Important—It’s EVERYTHING
We’ve all heard “communication is key,” but let me tell you, it’s not just key; it’s the whole dang lock and door. If you’re not talking, things will go south faster than leftover takeout.
Whether it’s about dinner plans or deep emotional baggage, share it all. Even the small stuff. Why? Because what seems tiny to you might be a big deal to your partner.
2. Fights Don’t Mean Your Marriage Is Broken
Spoiler alert: You WILL fight. Over dumb stuff, like who left the lights on. Over big stuff, like finances. Fights are normal. What matters is how you handle them.
Think of conflict as a chance to grow, not a game to win. Yelling? Counterproductive. Silent treatment? Even worse. Learn to argue respectfully, even when you’re fuming.
3. You’re Not Done Growing—Neither Is Your Partner
A lot of people think marriage is the end goal. Plot twist: it’s just the next chapter. You’re both going to keep changing, and that’s a good thing!
Support your partner’s hobbies and dreams, even if you don’t get them. (Looking at you, fantasy football fans.) Individual growth keeps the relationship fresh and exciting.
Lesson Learned: Don’t freak out if you’re growing in different directions for a bit. It’s normal. Just keep supporting each other.
4. Finances Will Either Bond You or Break You
Money talks—and it also argues, cries, and occasionally slams doors. You need to be on the same page about finances before you get married.
Who’s paying for what? How are you saving for the future? If one of you is a spender and the other is a saver, buckle up. You’re going to need some serious discussions.
Real Talk: Create a budget together. It’s not sexy, but it’ll save you from major blowouts later.
5. Love Isn’t Static—It Evolves
The honeymoon phase? Amazing. But it’s just that—a phase. Over time, love changes. It becomes deeper, more comfortable, and less about constant butterflies.
That doesn’t mean it’s boring! It’s the kind of love where you feel safe, where your partner becomes home.
Reminder: Date your spouse. Forever. Keep the spark alive, even if it’s just by grabbing ice cream at 2 a.m.
6. Don’t Lose Yourself in the “Us”
Marriage is a partnership, not a merger. You’re still YOU, and that’s important. Keep your hobbies, maintain your friendships, and carve out time for yourself.
You’ll actually be a better partner if you’re taking care of your own happiness. Plus, it gives you stuff to talk about when you’re together.
Life Hack: Schedule “me time” into your week. It’s not selfish; it’s survival.
7. Space Isn’t the Enemy
No matter how much you love each other, spending 24/7 together is a recipe for disaster. Everyone needs a little breathing room.
Whether it’s a solo walk, a night out with friends, or just watching Netflix in separate rooms, don’t feel guilty about taking space.
Quote to Remember: “Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or at least less annoyed.”
8. Patience Will Save Your Sanity
Marriage isn’t all roses and cute couple selfies. Sometimes, it’s forgetting to flush the toilet or leaving dishes in the sink for the 10th time. You’ll need patience—LOTS of it.
Your partner isn’t perfect. (Newsflash: neither are you.) Cut them some slack. Marriage is about accepting imperfections and learning to laugh through the frustration.
Pro Tip: Deep breaths. Lots of them.
9. Compromise Without Losing Yourself
Marriage is basically one big negotiation. Compromise is part of the deal, but it doesn’t mean sacrificing your core values or letting resentment build.
Find solutions that work for both of you. And if you’re the one compromising this time, trust that your partner will do the same down the road.
Golden Rule: Compromise is about balance, not keeping score.
10. Family Drama Is Inevitable
When you marry someone, you’re also marrying their family. That’s not always a bad thing, but it does mean navigating new dynamics.
Set boundaries early. Whether it’s nosy in-laws or holiday scheduling wars, make sure you and your partner are on the same team.
11. Quality Time Isn’t a Luxury—It’s a Priority
Life gets busy—jobs, kids, errands, the works. But if you’re not making time for each other, your relationship will suffer.
Schedule date nights, even if it’s just takeout and a movie on the couch. Consistent quality time keeps you connected.
Fun Idea: Try something new together, like a cooking class or a random road trip.
12. Marriage Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Think of marriage like a plant: you have to water it, give it sunlight, and occasionally prune the dead leaves. It’s work, but it’s worth it.
Effort isn’t optional. You can’t put your relationship on autopilot and expect it to thrive.
Motivational Reminder: The more you invest, the more you get back.
13. Household Chores Can Turn Into Epic Battles
Who knew dishes could cause so much drama? Dividing chores is more important than you think. One person shouldn’t be carrying all the weight.
Have an honest conversation about who’s doing what. And no, “I don’t see the mess” isn’t a valid excuse.
14. The Kids Talk Isn’t Optional
Whether you want kids or not, this is a conversation you NEED to have. Don’t assume you’re on the same page.
And even if you’re both on board, be ready for the unexpected. Life doesn’t always go according to plan, and that’s okay.
15. Laughter Is the Secret Weapon
Marriage isn’t always serious business. Sometimes, it’s about laughing so hard you can’t breathe.
Find humor in the everyday moments. Laugh at yourself, laugh at each other, and don’t take life too seriously.
Final Words
Marriage isn’t perfect, and neither are you. But that’s the beauty of it—it’s two imperfect people choosing to love and grow together every day.
It won’t always be easy, but it’ll always be worth it if you’re both willing to put in the effort. Keep talking, keep laughing, and don’t forget to enjoy the journey.
Now go out there and crush this whole marriage thing! (Or at least try not to argue over whose turn it is to take out the trash.)
